The Head of the Household

Sermon Notes

Psalm 127¹Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
²In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to^[^a^] those he loves.

³Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
⁴Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
⁵Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.

Introduction

In the rubble of an ignored plan

17^th of July 1981, it was a warm evening in the city of Kansas, America. People were flooding into the grand and newly build, Hayat Regency Hotel for a Tea dance. Within a year of the construction of this Hotel, the Tea dances they used to host were an instant hit. The highlight of the atrium in which they gathered were bridge-like structures overhead called the Skywalk. They were essentially a set of suspended walkways, one over the other, that connected the two ends of that rather large and beautifully built atrium. It was simply a glorious sight and experience to be there, roomed filled people, dancing away to soothing music, while the skywalk above would be filled with people relaxing to the view of the dance over a few drinks.

It was set to be yet another blockbuster evening for the residents, until around 7 PM when a loud popping sound caught the attention of the entire atrium. What followed was the sight of 2 of the atriums that were one above the other, collapsing and falling flat onto residents beneath and jamming those in between both the walkways. Within a matter of seconds, it went from the sounds of cheerful people resting after a hard week of work, to a sight of confusion and death. Despite the rescue mission held soon after, about 114 people died between the walls of the atrium that day, and around 200 were injured.

All that pain and agony resulted from just a single decision to go against the plans of the architect of that walkway. Started with a seemingly bright idea that was strikingly against his plans, followed by a desire to see it fulfilled no matter the consequences, through a series of lies and shady decisions, and finally to stand and watch it all fall apart.

The architect and his plan

The incident within the confinements of that building is a small picture of a bigger disaster that humanity has been trying to drive itself through. There is a mighty and sovereign architect, with a clear and decisive plan. Then there are those, who were meant to bring the plans to fruition, but went behind the desires of their flesh instead. It’s only an apple, a bite wouldn’t hurt; Only a golden calf, it represents God after all; Thirty pieces of silver for Jesus, seemingly a fitting price.

This has been the highlight of the story time and time again, God in his mercy reveals his plans for his nation, his kingdom, inviting us to take upon the yoke to carry it forward, only for us to be blinded by the veil that covers our eyes and follow the hardened heart that is after the desires of the flesh.
Moments after we’ve fulfilled the desires of our hearts, we only stand to see it all fall apart around us.

But in his never-ending mercy, despite our utter wretchedness and inability to see his ways, he strikes us down by the power of the Holy Spirit, draws us near and reminds us of his plans.

It is rather straightforward, nothing too complicated to it. We have it at the beginning of his divine word, for it says, in Genesis 1:28 – “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over all things”
Here it is, the grand scheme of things, God wants his people to take the resources that he has made, nourish and multiply them. Take the Land, make it more fertile, hospitable and fill it with more God-fearing men and women such that each generation would commend his name, from one to another.
So if you zoom out and look back at what God is trying to do here, he is essentially in the business of building himself a home, an earth that is filled with people that give honour to his name. He makes all things for his Glory, therefore, he did not make Earth so that there could be some people groups spread across India, some across Africa and some America that can give him glory, no. His plan was for the whole of the earth to give him glory. That is his ultimate plan.

This plan he decides to accomplish by starting first at the fundamental unit, that is the family, that is the household, as Psalm 127 talks about. A household is made up of two individuals that come together and multiply. Sooner or later you see one God glorifying join hands with another set of similar families to form a church. The church multiplies and forms communities, from communities that join together to entire nations and finally entire nations that join together to fulfil the mandate of Genesis 1.

Think about this brothers and sisters, if you now pull out or dismantle that fundamental unit called the family that sits right at the bottom of this beautiful structure, the entire structure is going to fall apart.

We need scripture therefore to guide and orient our hearts and minds towards this grand scheme, this mighty plan by this mighty architect.

Exegesis

Psalm 127 is not an exhaustive guide to that end, but it teaches us some fundamental principles that we need to understand to carry out this charge. We see that right from verse one.

Those who labor

Psalm 127
¹Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
²In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to^[^a^] those he loves.

Much can be talked of regarding the Glory of God’s mercy and the power of his grace that is displayed in this text, but before we get there, I want to point out the premise here. That is, the general assumption that you are working hard or toiling.

It is not that, if you choose to work, God will help and guide you. But it is that you are working hard, going to bed dead and beaten, but if you are not doing it in the Lord or with the Lord, it is in vain.
These sets of passages are by no means to be used as a supplement to complacency or slothfulness. As believers, you do not want to find yourself evading from the daily responsibilities of life, making the couch your office and the TV your vocation, then go on to proclaim “It is the Lord doing! Unless the Lord builds the house! “
If God made us with the purpose to labor for God’s Glory, then slothfulness is going to be one of our biggest enemies and temptation. The temptation is always going to be like that of Proverbs 24: 33-34
³³A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest,
³⁴and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
and want like an armed man.
It is not just that it is a sin to use this passage as a defence to slothfulness but that it is a sin to not work for is in the very fabric of our design as humans. Even since the dawn of man, they were always made to work, work for the glory of God that is. As it says in Genesis 2: 15, “The Lord God took man (after his creation) and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it”. Not that it was all sunshine and daisies for Adam and Eve before the fall, that they may wake up to the sound of melodious music whilst angels feed them grapes, no. The design of the times even before the fall was such that Adam and Eve had to put in the hours for the sake of God.
Opposite to contrary belief, work was not a result of the fall, but rather it was the result of Grace, that although we were not needed, God made us so that we may work for his glory. But the curse was the result of the fall, and it tainted work. Or in other words, the fall of mankind did not make work, but it made it harder.
Therefore, that is the premise of the entire psalm, that we are always called to work hard and toil to build the kingdom of God.

Unto his Glory

Now, should we understand the theology of work and are effective at our work, we need to take heed of the warnings of the scripture that go with it as well.

The Bible always warns us against the desires of the flesh. Our desires are things that are contrary to the desires of the Lord. Romans 13:14 says “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”
There is always this constant pull within us to form for ourselves idols, knowing or unknowingly at every juncture. We form for ourselves idols of a variety of shapes and sizes but yet never truly idolise the immortal and invisible God.
Moreover, human beings are just experts at missing the point, that’s something we have been consistent with since the dawn of mankind. We can look at the entire redemptive history and see how great a role work has in the life of believers and go, “It is all about my work ”, as though the chief end of man is to work.
You then see a form of idolatry that goes unnoticed for the act seems to be a righteous one. There is a pouring out of the self into one’s vocation, be it a business or corporate job, putting in the hard work from the start of the day till you fall asleep at night. You’re no short of a mission and an admission, making sure you hit all the right spots of progress. Finally, you see that all that hard work resulted in an amass of wealth, which you use for some righteous deeds and some you save for your children. You can keep doing that for the rest of your life and not notice the issue for you seem to be doing all the right things, you’re putting in the hard work, you’re rewarded well for your work, and you seem to be using those rewards well. That could be your whole life because you seem to be doing the right things, but only to find out that the bible says, that all you’ve done, was in vain. You’re whole life’s work, it’s was for nothing in vain that you’ve laboured. Why is that, right?
The Bible does not speak against hard work, good wealth or even success as the fruit of your labour.
- For the bible calls for us to
  - Be excellent at the work that we do, for we are saved by grace for good works, for excellent work. Excellent work results in successful work, success that is. (Ephesians 2:8-10)
  - Be thankful and receive the riches that God gives you purely out of his grace, that you may, always in thanksgiving, use these blessings for good works. That we may bless our
    Children and Children’s Children. (Deuteronomy 8: 10-18, Deuteronomy 28:47-48, Proverbs 22:7)
  - Be workers of lawfulness in the way we work, that we may hard work and toil for we are made to work, for his Glory and his Kingdom. (Genesis 1:28, Genesis 3:19)
All the points that I listed out a while back, the Bible seems to be suggesting that those are good things to be doing. Therefore the question remains: What about that activity resulted in vein work?
- It is simply that the bible denotes a change in the narrative.
- The popular narrative is such that, your God glorification or “Christianness” applies to all parts of your life until it gets to the work that you do. It becomes just a set of activities that you do, and that seems to be done in the right way because you ask God to help you do the work.
- The popular narrative is that man clings on to work, nurtures it, takes care of it and then from time to time looks unto God as the means to guide in you that activity.
- Psalm 127 is asking for a simple change in that narrative.
- It must be that you cling to God, pouring out love and affection unto him, nurturing and cherishing your relationship with him. Then you look to your work and the means to help you do that, which is, that your desire to work must be fulfilled the chiefest of your desires, which is to Glorify him, to make his name known above all names. Therefore the work that you and the fruit of your labour are the means to the chief end of man, which is, to glorify God.
That must be the root motivation or desire of your heart as you read Psalm 127.

His household is for the poor spirit

Let us read verse one again,

Psalm 127
¹Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.

Similarly, when we look back at the grand narrative of scripture of him building himself a household through us, no matter at what stage of life you are in with regards to the plan of building him a household, whether it be that you are in school trying having no clue of life ahead but living in obedience to your parents or that you are hard at work building yourself up in preparation to get married, or that you are married, leading or taking care of a family, or that you are looking to obey God in your life of retirement; it is all done towards building his household.

Should the chiefest of my desires be to Glorify, I must not be like the one being warned of in this text. For no matter how successful I am, no matter how disciplined I am, no matter the size of the family I can feed, no matter the size of the home that I can maintain and keep nourished, no matter the number of deadlines I can meet or appraisals I can get, all of it is in vain, if it is not for Jesus that I do it and if it is not him who does it through me.

Whichever stage of life you desire to Glorify God should result in you behaving the way Psalm 127 encourages. That is to live as though:

It is for God that we labour and it is He who labours through me.
Without him, there is no meaning to anything that we do. No matter how much the world would tell me of heights of success that we can achieve apart from God, we must know deep in our hearts that everything that we do apart from, no matter how long we do it and how successful we are at it, it is all considered as unworthy. We do it all in vain.

What we see here is the result of a desire to Glorify God, as we spoke of earlier (Desire -> Result).

But beloved we know that this is not the reality in our lives, more often than not. Do you know why?
- Like with anything in life, there is a Gap between a desire and a result. There needs to be an action that fills the Gap and brings to life the desire right.
- So the natural question that follows is, “What is must the action that fills that Gap?”

Matthew 5:3
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

The kingdom that this architect is building, what you do has nothing to do with his kingdom if you are not poor in spirit.

Poor in spirit, meaning, you as a believer must understand the true state of mankind. That men and women are by nature, incapable of doing anything good.
Before any journey in our life, the depravity of the soul and the gift of grace that God offers must be clear in our minds. Depravity of the soul means, that by nature we don’t desire what is good but desire evil. Therefore, everything that we do is an outcome of that desire, everything we do is inherently evil.
Unless we are saved by the unmerited Grace of God through the faith that he gifts us with. It is that grace that is capable of doing Good and through that grace, we can do anything Good.

It is in vain if it does not proceed from faith

The classic argument against the statement is, ‘What about unbelievers when they do a seemingly good deed, like providing for the hungry or needy for instance?’

Well, the outcome of the deed that he does can be used by God in his providence to accomplish his purposes and for the good of his glory, but the deed is sinful for it does proceed from faith. Like it says in Romans 14: 23 – Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
But when a believer does the same thing out of the faith that the Lord has blessed them with, it is not only that the outcome is used by God for his Glory but that the deed is inherently good because it proceeds from faith and it gives glory to God. Like it says in Romans 4:20: Abraham grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God.
- Similarly, the believer can have the opposite effect too, that there are times when we despite the faith that God has given do sinful actions, those actions which proceed from our lack of faith. But the eternal implications are different in the case of the unbeliever and the believer. Therefore God by the power Holy Spirit rebukes our actions and causes us to repent to him.

Beloved this is an important distinction for us to have as we look at Psalm 127, for it not only shows us how consistent the bible is, but it also shows us the greater meaning of the Psalm.

For if as a believer I am building my home, that is, I am working, toiling, and putting all my desires into a certain deed and it does not proceed from faith, that none of it is done for the glorification of his name, then all that I have done for my household is in vein.

So for instance, if I am a husband and father, and I am constantly labouring for my family, working hard and providing for them, but unable to pray with them, unable to catechise them, unable to tend to the daily needs of my wife and am unloving towards my wife, all that I labour for is in vain for it does not proceed from a desire to glorify through the means that he has provided me to bless my bless household.
I rise early in the morning, with a load of the world on my back, stressed and anxious about every step I take in my workplace and eager to make progress in desperation.
And I am going to bed unable to depend on God, anxious, depressed, and unloving towards him, and for I deny the grace that he extends to me when he offers to carry my burdens for me.
If these are the patterns of my life, all that I do for my household are in vain for unless the Lord builds the household, those who build it labour in vain and I am eating the bread of anxious toil.
For none of what I did was in recognition that he is the one who builds my household and it is for him and in accordance to his will that I do all that I do.

The opposite end of this warning: building with grace.

He gives his beloved sleep

Beloved, we are called to take head to all that we have discussed so far:

The desire ultimately has to be to glorify God. Not to build a good and big family, not to be successful in your workplace, not to save for your children and children’s children, all of these desires must be to fulfil the ultimate desire, that is to Glorify Him.
We must understand that without Him we can do nothing. You cannot build a household, let alone glorify Him.
It has to be in our system, that if we mean to Glorify God through the building of our home, it is ultimately He, Jesus Christ who does it and he does it through you.
And if we were to take head to these teachings, then the promise from the one who keeps his promises is that will all that we do, he will do it for us and through us.
And it is not that merely blesses the outcome but that he blesses the whole being, through every step of his work. For he says I will give my beloved sleep.
He will guide you through your work to bed, and he will put you to sleep as well. Our God does not joke when he says he will hem us in from behind and before (Psalm 139:5), he truly does give us his divine protection and guidance through all things.
An important point to notice them, although the Hebrew text gives us the freedom to see the sleep mentioned here to be as him putting us to sleep, originally the text meant to portray that, as we depend and cling on to him to work, he will give us peace of mind that to a degree only a believer can experience, true peace of mind, righteous peace of mind. A state of mind with much peace to the point that it would be as though we are asleep. It is similar to what we see Jesus promising to us in Matthew 11:28.

Trusting in the messiah

Solomon who wrote the Psalm, if he depend on God in this manner, how much more must we believe the promise of Psalm 127 as those who have received the full revelation of the mystery of the Messiah?

It is through the message of the messiah that we can trust these promises brothers and sisters.

The blessings of these songs of ascents are of much more glory than those of the old covenant who sang these, for the hidden for ages, but now it has been revealed to us. The mystery of the messiah has been revealed, that is, Christ abides in us. (Colossians 1: 26)
It is because we have this truth in us, we can truly trust in these promises.
Moreover, Christ our King who abides in us, not only reveals to us himself through the blessing of the spirit, he not only intercedes for us with the Father in heaven, but he intimately acquaints for us on earth.
- For he feels the struggle of toil and hard work much more than us, for he struggled in every respect as we have. (Hebrews 4:15)
- When we struggle, work hard and toil to build our household, know that our saviour knows the hardship more than we do and he is willing to help us in every respect. For he says in Matthew 11:28, as I mentioned earlier:
  ²⁸Come to me, all who labour and are heavily laden, and I will give you rest.

We have all the reasons to cling to him as we work, bless our family, toil our schools or college, or bless our Children. Let us, as his co-heirs, cling to him in everything. Let us Build our household, or rather his household, with him for nothing is stopping.

The fruit of our labour as Solomon sees it

Psalm 127
³Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
⁴Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
⁵Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.

Notice the shift in tone to Children. You might be thinking, it’s a bit odd that he talked about hard work and toil through two heavy passages and he’s completely shifted to a different topic. As did I.
- Is this even the same Psalm, one might ask?
It sounds even odd when we understand the broader context of the Psalm. These songs of Ascents (Psalm 120 – 134) were sung by the pilgrims as they approach Jerusalem, marching toward the great and grand Temple of the Living God. While they are singing and giving praises and Glory to the LORD God almighty, when do they sing about little children all of a sudden?
The author of the Psalm, Solomon, knew exactly what he was talking about when he wrote this Psalm.
- If you notice the pattern of verses 1 and 2, he talks about building up and preserving what’s been built respectively.
- The beauty of verses 3-4 and 5 is that he follows a similar pattern. For the talks about building up a household and preserving it here as well. Solomon knew, to build a household for God is to have children, for that has always been the command, be fruitful and multiply. There is household building, or rather if you look at the grander narrative, there is no kingdom building without Children. Therefore verses 3-4 talk about building and verse 5 talks about preserving what’s built.
So he is elevating children and childbearing to a very high degree.
And the way they sing it is so interesting.
- They don’t sing, behold children are a blessing, thank you lord for helping us make them. But they sing, Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, an inheritance, or as the Hebrew word suggests, a gift. When they see children they don’t see the work of man but the supernatural work of God. The ability to make new life does not being to man and woman but to God, and they are merely instruments that God uses to create new life.
- The ability to create new life is not in the hands of the one who receives the gift but the one who gives it. From the time of conception to nourishment and finally, to the point where a new creation is introduced to the world, all of it is in the hands of God.
- The popular belief, or rather, the popular Christian belief is that God “had” the ability to create life. He made first made of humans, and then just set it on autopilot mode. That is, he gave the keys to the creation of life to Adam and Eve, thereafter that every binary pair thereafter can create life. This is the mentality that exists in both the believer and the unbeliever alike, which reduces the beauty of creation, for they place it in the filthy hands of mankind.
- But that is not how we see it in this Psalm, it is entirely his choice to give us children and it is never in my hands to deny but I am only called to accept his gift and denial of which is essentially the denial of Grace.

Christ the fruit of the womb

It is not merely the beauty in creation that leads the people of God to sing this psalm, but that they have a far wider vision of God and will that move them to sing this way.
- As we discussed regarding the grand narrative of the mighty architect, here are men and women who see it with full clarity.
- They understand the ultimate plan of God, and they see how crucial childbearing is to that plan.
- That if the mandate was to be fruitful and multiply, the fulfilment of that mandate cannot exist without childbearing. They see that as a people they ought to have been.
- whipped away from the face of the earth for their transgressions, but God in his mercy, through childbearing preserved their families from one generation to another and preserved nations allowing them to multiply and cover the face of the earth with image bearers of God.
Should this be the clarity of the plans of god that enables them to praise him, as I said earlier, should not we who have the full revelation of the mystery of the messiah be rejoicing more? Why?
- Because it is not just the children that enable the fulfilment of the dominion mandate, but they represent the hope of the promised Redeemer.
- When God blessed the world that he will send them a redeemer, in Genesis 3:15 –
  I will put enmity between you and the woman,
  and between your offspring^[^a^] and her offspring;
  he shall bruise your head,
  and you shall bruise his heel.”
- He Jesus, will crush the head of the serpent. But this was a promise that was given about the Messiah to come. And God decides to deliver this redeemer through the womb. Isn’t beautiful?
Therefore, we sing out loud in the name of Jesus, behold children are a heritage from god, the fruit of the womb a reward. This reward helps me in the building up of the household, for they are the fulfilment of the promise of God. These are fruits of the womb that will take the mantle and carry forward my hard work and toil. They will watch over the city, that is, they will watch over all that I have built. They will carry my burdens for me, for Christ blessed me through them and it is through them that he gives me sleep.
Like arrows in the hands of a worrier, we must fill our quiver with them, for they are the ones that will guard my household and fight against my enemies in the gate of the city, for through them my Christ gives me sleep.

Kill the dragon, get the girl

This is a beautiful Psalm that can be sung to give praises to God and renew the orientation of the heart and its desire to fulfil the grand plans of God. But sadly, that is not the world around us, is it?

There is an aversion and hatred towards childbearing in our society to the point that it is satanic. For it has given rise to normalising the murder of babies, that is abortion.
I say satanic because the plans of the enemies are never too complicated when it comes to his base desire which is to threaten and bring down the kingdom of God and therefore God. The easiest tactic is to attack the very design of mankind, through whom he has planned to build his kingdom. Therefore he tries to prevent the multiplication and eventually hinder the plans of God.
Much like he did with Eve in the Garden of Eden, he whispers the doctrine of the world to women of the present age only for them to bite the apple and abort the baby.
- Although it is the sin of the woman, the fault on the man, her husband that is. For he is called to be the leader over her, he is called to lead her to the Father, unblemished like Christ leads the Church. So, when the wife submits to him like the Church to Christ, he is giving the decision-making power to him. As the leader, he is meant to take the final call. When his wife sins in her decision for the family, although the decision is hers the fault is his for not leader her well and leading her away from the sin.
- For instance, at our workplaces when there is an issue in the final product, they don’t blame that one employee out of the 100, who is probably responsible for it. But they blame the manager, for it was his responsibility to make sure those who are led by him do not falter in their duties.
- Much like that the Husband must lead his wife away from and protect her from the snares of Satan.
- He is meant to guard her and keep them from the doctrines of Satan.
- Or in other words, as Doug Wilson would say, the simple responsibility given to the man is to kill the dragon and get the girl.
- That was the responsibility given to Adam, he failed only for Satan to take him, Eve and the rest of humanity down with him. And much like our forefathers, the responsibility was given to all men thereafter and they have only failed. Therefore, we have a world that has it embedded in their minds to not waver in their decision as they decide to murder babies, that is, as they decide to abort.

I can conclude these few passages with a Charge to men and Women.

Men, you are given the seed, the seed that holds the power to fulfil the divine plan of God, that is to be fruitful, multiply and build the Kingdom of God. You, who is meant to be suffering in the depths of the wrath of God in your wretchedness, to you he extended grace in that he saved you through Christ. His grace is so beautiful that he not only saved you but gave you a charge to build his diving and beautiful Kingdom.
Women, to you given the woman, the divine and miraculous means by which God meant to preserve all of mankind and ultimately bring Christ into this world. He has given you a gift to take the seed of man and multiply it, so that you may build the Kingdom of God. The same exhortation goes to you. You, who is meant to be suffering in the depths of the wrath of God in your wretchedness, to you he extended grace in that he saved you through Christ. His grace is so beautiful that he not only saved you but gave you charge to build his diving and beautiful Kingdom and he meant for you to do it through childbearing.

Conclusion:

Submit to the head of the household, Jesus Christ

The Charge to men and women ultimately ties back to the ultimate plan, I want to conclude with that. The divine plan of our God is to build his Kingdom, which starts with the building of a household for him. It applies to every one of us, irrespective of the stage of life we are in. Whether we are in school or college, living in submission to our parents and working hard. Whether you are a hard-working single man or woman, who is toiling daily at the workplace while you prepare for marriage. Whether you are married and are quite literally building a household through your husband or wife and Children. No matter what stage we are in, we are ultimately blessing God and building his kingdom.

But the Grand plan of this architect has it such that we look to the head of the household as we do it, that is the Messiah, the one who did Crush the head of the serpent. Like it says in Romans 16:20:
“The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.”
He is the one who kept the law.
He is the one who was sacrificed.
He is the one who rules from the right hand of God.
To him is given all authority in heaven and on earth.
He is the head of the household it is to him the entire household submits.
- The Husband in his leadership, the wife in her submission and the Children in obedience, all submit to the King and through this King, through this Messiah, we build the household.

Therefore, beloved let us not fall to the temptations of our desires like the characters in the incident that I shared as we began our study. Unlike them let us take heed to the plans of the divine architect, that is our God, and let us in obedience and unity, submit to our King and build his kingdom through him and for him.